Posts Tagged ‘ebola’

Driving along to work this morning was one of the best mornings. (I am a morning person anyway)  Each morning as I drive, I love my moments with God.  This is when I talk and pray to God and sometimes I sing a song or two to him. This morning, as I talked to my heavenly Father, I couldn’t stop praising him for Faith.  Faith was truly something that was so hard for me to come by.

Today was the first day in my life that I felt something very different about Faith.  As I continued in prayer, I had a great feeling of confidence in God – in the knowing that he truly has me.  And that is an awesome feeling!  I dove in my past for a minute or two – reflecting on what has happened to me and how far he has brought me.  At that moment I started to chant in Faith:

– Lord I have Faith that you will protect me and my family

– I have Faith that no deadly diseases will come our way

– I have Faith that you will give me that peace that passeth all understanding in my time of need

– I have Faith that you will increase my husband and I financial situation

– I have Faith that I will not struggle with those things that kept me bond and down

– Lord I have Faith that you will continue to provide increase, even though my job is shutting down my building and I don’t know what my future holds with them, you will take care of me

And I could go on, on and on – but you understand….

Tears began to fall from my eyes.  Not in sadness, but because I finally understand the depth of Faith and how it can truly move mountains.  Understanding that I cannot get distracted by what is in front of me and this world wind of life that is happening everyday, I have come to realize that the most important thing in my life is my Faith in my Father.  Faith that he will do exactly what his Word says he will do.  I stand on his promises and nothing else!  And you know what, that feels so GOOD!

I do not have to walk in fear, sadness, anger, condemnation, doubt…..I can walk in my Faith because there is nothing to hard for God to handle.  Wow!  All things are possible with God! Thank you Jesus!  Just in knowing this – I sit back right now at my desk, closing my eyes and allowing the cool splash of water to hit my face.  I open my eyes to the newness and refreshing confidence in God – this is how my Faith makes me feel each and every second that I walk in it.  It opens my eyes to what life, my life is all about.

I am blinded by Faith and I love the unexpectedness of it!  Hallelujah!

I will continue to allow my Faith to be my guide….

 

Advertisements

madAnother trying week or week in a half, whichever….

I have struggled with Fear, Sadness, Anger, Conviction, Confusion and the list goes on.

It’s like I am trying to be Right.  The Christian I need to be.  I am trying to be Strong and to allow my Faith Keep Me.  But it seems like my Faith gets tested in so many angles – which makes me wonder if my Faith is strong enough to withstand or if I even have Faith at all.  From watching the news and its constant content of Ebola and the potential outbreak – to my baby girl getting sick (not with Ebola an ear infection – but still the unknown and potential scared me) – to it coming to my house – to my own struggles physically and emotionally.

Geesh, this has been a trying week or week in a half for me.  It’s like I just can’t get right or get it right or be right!  I really try!   Lord knows I do, but it’s so hard being a Christian! What is being a Christian, I wonder?!  Sorry, I am venting a bit!  I try and try, but it seems like I keep failing!  I thought it would be easy, but it seems like it’s the hardest thing I have ever done.  Yea I look at TV and watch Christian folk videos and yea they look happy.  Doing this to help people, giving, smiling and acting as though they don’t have a worry in the word.  Why do I feel like I am the only one who is struggling to walk this walk?  Are these people lying with their fake smiles, warm hugs or could they know something I don’t.  If they do, please tell me because I am at a lost for words and actions!  Sometimes I want to give up and just give in!  I want to throw in the towel sometimes because it just gets overwhelming. When I move forward, it seems like I am being pushed backwards.  I am so lost!  And Lord knows, I want to be found!  But I don’t know if what I am doing is enough!

Ugh….!!!!!!!!!!!  My Truth!!  The Good!  The Bad!  And The Ugly!  “Fighting for my Life” right now….

Scum Pile we met again……

However I refuse to just let go and die in Sin or lose the Faith that I do have….Lord I am holding on by a thread!

 

I had to come back to post this.  God is always on time and knows my heart so much. And listens to my cry and I am so glad that I can be honest with him and explode my true feelings on him without his judgement.  So, after I posted this..a friend of mine who knows nothing about my blog or how I feel texted me this

“Don’t be afraid of your flaws; acknowledge them and let God use you anyway.  Quit Worrying about what you’re not and give God what you are.”  Amen!  This was so needed! Praise God for using others to show me how much he loves me and wants this relationship with me just as much as I do!