As I was sitting at my desk, shutting down my computer for the 100th time, I saw my complexion on the blue screen and thought, “I am glad to be God’s masterpiece, his beautiful work of art”. My flaws, imperfections, mental bruising, negative thoughts, bad attitude, my struggles, my downs; my bad and ugly are all part of the makeup of me.

Each day I have come to realize that all these things that I find so BAD about me, God wants to use these things for his GOOD no matter how CRAZY I think they or I am!   There is nothing to hard for God! So many things have happened in my life that has snatched away my innocence at a very young age and have caused me to build up such a hard shell.  I have struggled to invite people in – in fear that they would either leave me voluntarily or involuntarily.

I don’t trust anyone and it is hard for me to feel the authenticity of someone’s heart or words because of my own fears and trust issues.  I have been bound by this for so long and try to break loss of all these things that hold me captive and from moving forward.

What I have learned is that not only does this hard shell and wall keep me from building loving relationships, but it too destroys my relationship with Christ and how I view him.  Wow! This is an amazing revelation!  As I seek Christ daily and draw near to him, I will began to accept who I am and truly accept his Love for me.  I will understand the depth of his Love. And once I understand it, feel it, walk in it, claim it, it will be like a sweet aroma flowing from my heart, my mouth, my actions, and bathing in my thoughts constantly. (Oh I can’t wait for that moment)

I am so blessed to be God’s Masterpiece!  He made me, knew me and now he is teaching me about myself and perfecting me – my delicate parts and those things that are deeply rooted and hidden away, he his bringing them to light so that I am no longer bond by them and so that I can face them head on. (This was something I never wanted to do and thought I didn’t need to – but I have found healing in doing this)

Yes, it’s hard and hurts really bad when you have to face yourself – the real YOU.  When you look in the mirror and do not like who is staring back at you.  But today, I saw a new creature when I saw myself on that blue screen. I saw who I was and who God has made me to be. And each day I will walk in that and not in what my past, present, future, I, family, friends, enemies or even Satan says I am.

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Comments
  1. Julia Putzke says:

    You’re not alone in this. I struggle with this as well. It’s hard to trust people when there has been lying from people you thought you could trust. It’s makes you shy away from any real relationship. But, believe me, God is with you. He does not leave or forsake any of His children. When you are afraid, you can ALWAYS put your trust in Him. I pray He leads you to honest, soul healing relationships, where you be seen and known as He has always seen you: Beloved. ❤

    Like

  2. Julia Putzke says:

    Oh, and you can always email if you need someone to listen: j_sparrows00@ymail.com. 🙂

    Like

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